34 tcf.org.uk And we can’t forget her wonderful books – her book of poems Don’t Let Them Tell You How To Grieve written after the death of her son, Robin, where she shared all the insights gained after the loss of both Nikki and Robin in her unique way – with truth but also with so much humour. In more recent years she edited Upright With Knickers On (a saying that first came from Gina), a collection of writing from TCF members – both parents and siblings; this is one of the books that is most often sent out from the TCF library to newly bereaved parents. I have probably forgotten many aspects of Gina’s amazing contributions to TCF and I know that many of you will have your own memories of her. Gina was totally unique, a one-off, with an indomitable spirit, a passion for Wales, and Welsh rugby in particular, innovative, creative, strong-minded and simply a force of nature. She was a huge influence on me at TCF and her passion for peer support was something that has inspired me since the day I met her. At the Quaker service held to celebrate Gina’s life, a eulogy was given by Maria Ahern, former Chair of Trustees and volunteer. The following is an excerpt. Gina was a teacher and a writer. Words were important to her and so was passing on knowledge. In writing this tribute to Gina I have reflected on the words that describe her. Grief I met Gina when I was very recently bereaved. I was alone at a lunch organised by TCF. Gina spotted me and came to sit with me and immediately we bonded over our passion for writing, cake and the fact that James is half Welsh. She very literally took me under her wing and anyone who was lucky enough to have had a hug or “Cwutch” from Gina knows that I mean that both physically and metaphorically. She supported, encouraged, nurtured and inspired us all. Indomitable She was, in every sense of the word, indomitable. She made her views clear and such was the level of respect that we all had for her that when Gina said “No I’m afraid I don’t agree with that”, there was no argument. If she didn’t agree with it, the plan was shelved. If she wanted it, it was done. She was also a master of diplomacy and navigated disagreement with a smile. She had a vision for TCF that was unwavering. Bereaved parents needed support and gentle coaxing but grief had to be on each individual’s terms. Many of you will have heard her read her beautiful poem “Dont let them tell you how to grieve” When she read it at retreats it was read as though it was a command. “Don’t let them tell you how to grieve!!!!!” Through her books, poems, and TCF, Gina used her gifts to provide what people needed without dogma or judgement. She was wise, perceptive, and according to her daughter Rachael, unbelievably obstinate when she thought it mattered. It’s right to say that we all saw that side of her sometimes too. Compassion She was the embodiment of compassion and The Compassionate Friends was strengthened by her vision and contribution. Gina was a trustee of TCF From 2013 to 2022. Her passion for the charity was contagious and limitless and it was obvious to all who knew her that support for bereaved parents was at the heart of her achievements. TCF NEWS | IN MEMORIAM
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