41 tcf.org.uk So, when that terrible day arrived our minds were focused on what we were about to do rather than entirely on what had happened exactly one year before. As you all know, if you have already reached the one year anniversary of your own loss, emotions were running high that day but with the amazing support we had on the day, all 3 of us completed the run, despite the aches, pains and many tears. We each felt an immense sense of achievement, but we had also raised lots of money for TCF and kept our minds and bodies active throughout the day; and perhaps most importantly had put our son to the forefront of everyone’s minds with us, and created a ‘new memory’ of him. By the evening we were so exhausted that it also helped us sleep, which we may not have done otherwise, but we knew that this day had helped us get through that first 6 months, and that first anniversary day. There is no magic wand to overcome this grief we share. No, way of getting over it, as there can be with normal grief (and as others somehow think we should). All we can do is share our grief and channel our lost love to each other within the TCF family that we now have, and then find a way forward in our new lives that gives us each our own unique way of finding direction, purpose and peace. I can only speak from my own experience, but channelling my energy to something active while creating a new memory of Michael, and raising money to help others, certainly helps me. After running the marathon we have now also completed the 100 mile Ride London bike ride, in my case in 3 consecutive years, we have an annual 5k fun run, and we have recently completed the 2 mile Swim Serpentine. Completing the London Marathon, the 100 mile Ride London and the 2 mile Swim Serpentine means that we have each now completed the London Classics Triathlon - the result of completing all 3 of these major London sporting events. What’s been even more special is that all 3 of us have managed to do these events and much of the training together. Grief is a very personal thing, and everyone’s journey can be very different, even within a close family. I am lucky that the 3 of us are on very similar emotional journeys but I can imagine that taking on a physical challenge or just getting active as a couple or family can be a great way to bring you closer together, through the shared experience if you are each dealing with it very differently. Alternatively, having your own space to do this on your own may be the best way for you. The Compassionate Friends have helped us so much with the support given but more importantly with the new friends we have made; lifelong friends sharing the same grief journey as us but in their own unique ways. I am conscious that not everyone is physically fit, and not everyone is able to take on a difficult physical challenge. Of course, some people do ultra marathons (not me!!) but for others something far less strenuous can be beneficial. No matter what your fitness or abilities are there will always be something you can do, and I believe it is a great way to exercise your body and mind which I think for some people can be a vital piece in the grief jigsaw that we are all trying to complete. I am only 3 years through my grief journey, and I am still trying to work out where I am trying to get to, but I already know that I will take this journey with the help of my loving family, the help of my incredible TCF family, by trying to keep active and challenging myself physically for as long as I can, and of course with Michael in my heart and memory every single step of the way. TCF NEWS | FUNDRAISING ROUND-UP Only 3 weeks after completing their London Classics Triathlon with Swim Serpentine, the Read family were out on their annual 5K run with 40 friends and family members. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported the Reads over the years and donated in memory of Michael. TTCFFNEEWSS| FUNDRAISING ROUND-UP
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTM0NTEz