The last months of the year are marked by a range of events, including Diwali, Hanukkah and Christmas, and then finally, New Year’s Eve. For those of us bereaved of a child or children, grandchild or sibling, the arrival of this winter season of celebrations can leave us feeling anxious, overwhelmed or alone. It can seem like there is no escape. Christmas in particular is all over the shops and streets, on TV, radio, in magazines, on the web and social media. The emphasis on all things joyful and lifeaffirming can leave us bereaved parents feeling even more isolated by our grief. The ‘happy greetings’ we receive from other people may seem insensitive when we are so devastated. On the other hand, this season could also give us welcome pause from the daily grind of life. Some bereaved parents find that the run up to the event, with all the accompanying anticipation, can be more difficult to cope with than the actual day itself. In addition to Christmas and other seasonal events, the New Year celebrations looming in the background may also be unwelcome and even dreaded. This is all part of the landscape of our life now and something else to find our way through. Figuring out how to manage these times and events – especially in the early years of our bereavement – is likely to be an ongoing challenge. For instance, coping with a family reunion when our beloved child or children will not be with us may intensify our yearning for them. On the other hand, finding ways to acknowledge them may bring a little solace, especially if other people join in. We will also need to cope with other people’s expectations of us. We may find the anticipation and stress of what other people seem to feel that we ‘should’ be doing hard to deal with. Additionally, if we have young children or grandchildren, we will want to consider their needs. For their sake we may choose to continue with our usual traditions, even if this is difficult for us. When everyone else seems to be feeling positive and uplifted by the season, we can feel additional pressure not to come across as negative, gloomy or bringing down the mood. Coping with Christmas and other seasonal events
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