One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Nothing can prepare a parent for the pain we experience if our child dies. Our feelings can overwhelm us. Our sadness is deep and heart-rending. Our thoughts can go round and round endlessly. Our memories may become muddled. We may feel anxious or angry, guilty or confused. We may suffer inconsolable sadness and intense longing for our child. We agonise over the past and despair for the future. Sometimes we feel so much at once, whilst at other times we are numb. No two people are the same and we all grieve differently, but the following are also quite common: • Inability to stop thinking about what happened, and trouble concentrating on anything else • A sense of drowning under the weight of our grief • Feeling life has no meaning now that our child has died • Feeling numb, empty, or utterly flat • Intense feelings of loneliness and isolation • Flashbacks and intrusive memories • Anxiety or panic in social settings, including work or family gatherings • Anger towards people we blame in some way for our child’s death • Feeling disappointed and let down by some family and friends. When our grief is consuming us and we cannot think about anything else, we need coping strategies. In these pages we will look at some ideas for what might help, based on the experiences of other bereaved parents and the advice of grief researchers. Our situation, our memories, our personalities, our relationship with our child, and so many other factors are unique to ourselves. What helps each of us survive is equally unique, but there are some general principles to consider which we hope you will find useful. Coping with overwhelming grief
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