UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk Note: This leaflet looks specifically at coping with overwhelming feelings and thoughts. The following leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends (TCF) describe more generally how grief can affect a bereaved parent. • Living with grief tcf.org.uk/livingwithgrief • Grief of the newly bereaved tcf.org.uk/griefofthenewlybereaved • Prolonged and intense grief tcf.org.uk/prolongedgrief Releasing our emotions “Sometimes I’d just stand on the beach and scream out to sea.” “ I would wait until I was alone at home. Then I would release the pain in tears and words, without feeling I had to consider anybody around me.” It is important to let emotions out. Suppressing grief and trying to keep it all inside in the hope that it will go away may only intensify the pain, and can have adverse physical and psychological effects. Not everyone has the urge or need to cry, but if we feel like it, it can be helpful to allow ourselves to do so. There is no shame in tears or weeping. Having a ‘good cry’ can bring a sense of relief, even if only temporarily. One reason is that emotional tears contain hormones, one of which is a natural pain killer. If we want to cry but feel blocked and unable to release our tears, some of us find that listening to music helps. Vigorous physical activity can be another way of releasing pent up emotion. Ideas include: • running • walking • gardening • housework If these are beyond our physical abilities, we could try something like scribbling colours on a blank page. Some feelings can be extremely powerful, but grief does not always manifest in emotional upheaval. We may be numb, where we don’t feel anything much at all. There are no right or wrong emotions in grief. It can help to remind ourselves that whatever our feelings at present, they are not permanent. They will change. • boxing • swimming • cycling.
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