UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk Coping with life as it is now “I still can’t quite believe he is not ever coming back, but it became real to me again when I had to decide whether to go on holiday. We always used to take our holidays together.” Sometimes it is the practical changes in our daily lives following the death of our child that can lead us to feeling overwhelmed. Adjusting to this might involve: • Being patient, and trying to delay any major decisions until we feel more settled • Setting small achievable goals. Rebuilding our resilience Problems that we used to be able to handle with ease may threaten to overwhelm us. It could be something as simple as an item getting lost or broken. Many of us find that we have to rebuild our resilience slowly, developing our strategies for keeping going in the face of unwelcome events, rather than being dragged into a downward spiral. Again, everyone is different but in general it seems to help if we can: • Try to think well of ourselves • Tell ourselves that we can survive this and we will survive this • Take care of ourselves • Welcome any positive feelings (such as joy at a happy event) as these give our hearts some ease and help us think more optimistically about our life going forward. Being around people “I started working in a charity shop. It proved to be a welcome distraction. Just talking to people untouched by my pain and having light-hearted chats gave me a break, as well as boosting my confidence by doing something useful.” Making the effort to avoid isolation is also important.
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