Coping with special occasions

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | www.tcf.org.uk It may help to go somewhere that holds a memory of our child, such as the place where they were born, somewhere we’d taken them on holiday, or a local beauty spot they had loved. On the other hand, some of us will prefer to be somewhere that has absolutely no connection with our child. “On Jack’s birthday his mum and I find it better to go to a place completely new to us, somewhere he’d never been either. It seems to ease the pain just a little.” Dave We might choose to mark our child’s special days on social media. This gives other people the chance to support us and remember our child too, no matter where they are. This can be done on our own personal Facebook page, Instagram or other social media pages, on our child’s memorialised Facebook pages, or within the TCF support groups on Facebook. We may find as years go by that it will be up to us to remind our friends and family when it is our child’s anniversary date or their birthday. It is not that our child is not remembered, just the date itself. “Arranging to meet at the park with my daughter’s friends gives them a chance to mark the date even if they can’t attend. They send a message or a photo, and that is a great comfort.” Katy Some years may feel more significant than others. For instance, when it has been five years since our child’s death, or when they would be reaching a particular age. We might want to plan a suitable commemoration. The process of planning can help occupy our thoughts and give us some sense of purpose and control. Whatever we decide to do to mark our child’s special occasions, we should try to remember to be kind to ourselves.