Grieving the Death of Our Child During the Coronavirus Pandemic

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends give us the comfort of being surrounded by friends and family. We might like to organise a memorial service to be held at a later date, and there are many other ways that we can honour the memory of our child. (See the TCF leaflet, Remembering our Child ) There will be other practical matters to take care of, and often legal processes, such as an inquest. It might be more difficult to obtain information during the pandemic, and processes may take longer. This could add to our frustrations and lead to a sense of powerlessness. These circumstances are not of our choosing; all we can do is manage things the best we can. Coping with grief Our child was the baby we nursed, the toddler who walked and talked, the child who played. Depending on their age, they were the teenager or the young adult, living a full life. They were unique, with their own interests, personality and talents. They had their likes and dislikes in music, food and fashion. They had dreams and expectations, and we too had our hopes of how their life would unfold. The crushing of these hopes brings deep heartache. It is not surprising to find ourselves deeply sad, mournful, lacking concentration, exhausted, despairing, confused or angry — or very likely a combination of all these. These are normal feelings for bereaved parents but they are very probably intensified by the circumstances of the pandemic. Such grief can bring with it an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. If we are a person of faith, we may be severely tested. If we have surviving children or other close family members, we may become gripped with worries about their welfare or struggle to have the energy and motivation to be there for them. There is no escaping information about coronavirus at this time, and constant updates can keep us in a state of agitation. News of potential treatments, vaccinations or of those who have recovered may bring mixed feelings, even resentment. Why couldn’t there