Grieving the Death of Our Child During the Coronavirus Pandemic

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends corner of the garden in their memory. This type of activity can help us slowly adjust to the reality of our loss and our changed relationship of memory with our child. There are many ideas for activities in the TCF Handbook of Ideas for Remembering our Child . You can download it free of charge here: www.tcf.org.uk/ rememberinghandbook We may need to be creative and adaptable in our grieving. For instance, if it has not been possible for us to attend our child’s funeral, and/or if the funeral was not all that we wanted it to be, we could plan a memorial service for when restrictions are lifted. Alternatively, or in addition, we could organise some type of digital ‘social media’ memorial, where friends and family could be invited to contribute pictures or comments. If we have a partner or other family members living at home, or if we are in close contact with others, we may find that they are grieving differently to us. Each person’s grief is unique, and there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. However, this could give rise to some tensions between us. It is worthwhile communicating our feelings when possible. Although we can learn from the experiences of others, in some respects we each need to find our own way through our grief. For instance, some of us have a religious faith which can be of immeasurable support; others might find that we question long- held beliefs. Some discover a faith, whereas some of us may wish to work out our own philosophy. Some of us find creative activities such as art, music or gardening are therapeutic and calming. It might be the process rather than the eventual product that is most helpful. On the other hand, we may sometimes choose to read something light or watch television. A bit of distraction is not a bad idea, as the intensity of our feelings leaves us exhausted.