Grieving couples

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends At some point we will return to work, restart our social life, go on holiday, and discover that we can find some joy in life again, however unimaginable this may seem at first. The timing and speed of how we embrace life’s activities might differ between us. Again, there is no wrong or right way, no way that is intrinsically better or worse than the other. Respecting our differences becomes vital; not accepting each other’s way of doing this will only distress us more. We need to have realistic expectations of what we can achieve, together and separately. We may need to look closely at our partnership, to give each other space, and if this is what we choose, allow ourselves to pursue some different paths without being afraid that this will drive us apart. Our grieving will probably have intensified our awareness of each other and our sense of ‘together yet alone.’ The need to remember our child and to share memories will always be there, but our lives do continue. The insights into our relationship that have been so painfully discovered as we grieve may enrich our partnership in the years ahead. As a family, we are changed forever by the death of our child, but the shared memory of our son or daughter is the most precious treasure for always.