Grieving couples

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Having other people, such as family members and friends, who we can talk with can be most helpful and provide an essential outlet. Many of us find support group meetings very beneficial. The Compassionate Friends (TCF) organises local groups and larger gatherings, and this might be something in which we would like to take part. Attending a meeting or joining an online bereavement forum gives us the opportunity to speak freely about our child in the company of others who are also bereaved. However, here again there may be differences. One of us might be keen to attend a meeting whilst our partner really does not wish to take part. Perhaps in this case we each need to respect the other’s wishes. The one who would like to attend may do so; the one who does not should not feel obliged. (There are more details about TCF’s support groups and online support at the end of this leaflet). Our surviving children Our surviving children, if we are fortunate enough to have them, can be a source of shared strength and purpose, but also an anxiety. The desire to survive as a family brings us all together, although at times this can seem almost impossible. The pain each member of the family feels can become even deeper when everyone is together in the same room; the empty chair at the meal table is a horrible reminder to us all that things will never be the same. Our own grief may not allow us to truly see the depth of grief our other children are experiencing. In turn our sons or daughters may not comprehend our suffering as parents.