Grieving couples

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk Following the death of their sibling, children can be prone to anger, guilt and anxiety. Some will feel the need to protect their parents by hiding their own pain, or by trying to replace their deceased sibling by taking on some of their habits and mannerisms. This is a tremendous strain for them, and as parents we can work together to watch over them and offer reassurance. Our children need us to help them in their loss, just as we need them, but helping them can be one of the hardest tasks we will ever face. Due to our own grief, it could be that one of us takes on more of this supportive role than the other, at least for a time. It helps if we can talk honestly and openly with our children about their feelings and include them in deciding what to do about their brother or sister’s clothes, books, sports equipment, bedroom. We should try to avoid making hurried decisions about his or her belongings, and take as much time as we need, not being influenced too much by what other people think we ‘should’ be doing. It may be useful to discuss this aspect with members of TCF to know the different ways in which this has been managed. See the TCF leaflet Our surviving children for more on this topic.