Grieving couples

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk If we are not able to fulfil our partner’s needs in this regard, there may be a temptation to seek intimacy and comfort elsewhere. We should not expect too much from each other or from ourselves. A common understanding can take considerable time to achieve. Communication and patience are key. Spiritual issues Our spiritual views may change following the death of our child, even if before we shared common beliefs and practices. One of us may find support and strength in our long-held faith, with prayer, meditation or attending services becoming a mainstay of our grieving. For the other, religion could become a focus for rage at a god who could allow our child to die, and our beliefs can fall apart, at least in the short term. Alternatively, one or both of us may have been sure that this life is all there is, but now find that our search for meaning or for comfort has drawn us to religion. If one of us changes radically, this can drive a wedge between us. A third parent If just one of us is the biological parent of our child, we may worry that our partner cannot truly grasp the depth of our grief. In addition, the death of our child may possibly bring our child’s other biological parent back into our lives, as they may attend the funeral, and so on. This can all complicate our relationship as a grieving couple. The TCF leaflet Blended and step families looks at this issue in more depth.