Grieving For More Than One Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk parent-child relationships in adulthood. The loss may therefore be of irreplaceable friendships as well as of beloved children. Now they are gone, we will need somehow to re-establish ourselves and our place in the world. This may be a long struggle, and we will need to draw on our own inner resources, as well as the support that family and friends can offer. Speaking with other parents bereaved in this way may be helpful. Not having any surviving children will also have practical consequences, leading to questions such as who will be the beneficiaries of our will, and who will take care of practical matters following our own deaths. Additionally, we may worry about who will look out for us in our old age. These are matters we may wish to discuss with close friends or family. (For more on these issues, please see the TCF leaflet Childless Parents ) Coping with other people’s reactions The death of a child is every parent’s greatest dread. Other parents might draw away from us, afraid to come face to face with the reality that this could ever happen. This type of reaction can be more marked towards those of us who have endured the death of more than one child. Other parents may sincerely believe that it would not be possible to survive such tragedy; they may even voice these thoughts to us. Even a bereaved parent might react in this way, fearful of the possibility of the death of another of their children. How can we respond? The fact is that we have survived. Survival is a good thing, even though it might not feel like it, particularly in the early period of our grief. We survive because we love each of our children, and we want our lives to continue to reflect that love, however painful.