Grieving For More Than One Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk is not common, but it is by no means unique. (Please do read the back pages with information about the support available from The Compassionate Friends, including group meetings in person and online.) Adjusting to life without our children’s presence The love we have for our children did not end when they died. We keep loving them and thinking about them. Finding ways to channel our love and thoughts can be helpful as we adjust to their absence. We may find it comforting to spend time on remembrance and memorial activities, keeping our children’s names alive. We might struggle for a long while to find any peace of mind. Feeling a failure and struggling with guilt is common amongst bereaved parents, and is only going to be increased by the fact that more than one of our children has died. Such feelings are usually without basis; but of course, as parents, we wish we could have done more to protect our children. If only we could take this as a positive sign of our deep love for them, rather than any perceived failures! However, it might not be easy for us to reach this point. In addition to guilt, we may find ourselves angry at the sheer unfairness of life, and the unexpected hand we’ve been dealt. We each need to find our own ways of dealing with these difficult emotions. These could include: • talking frankly and openly with someone we trust; • writing down our feelings, or expressing them through another creative activity; • devoting time to a cause we find meaningful, such as a charity; • being outside in nature;