UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk own. We may find we are in direct contact with them more frequently than before, especially if they and our child had children together. It may be that our shared grief brings us closer, and we can mourn in each other’s company. But we may also find this does not happen, or that contact is broken or lessens over time. Our child’s partner may start to turn away from us to begin their life without our child, and this may include a new relationship. This can cause us additional pain. We may be happy for them in some respects, but still also feel resentful. They are able to ‘move on’ to be with a new person, whereas for us, our child is irreplaceable. Grandchildren “One of the hardest things for me has been realising that my child is going to miss seeing their own children grow up.” If our child had children of their own, our role as grandparents could now change. We may have more or less responsibility or contact with them. Our grandchildren have lost their parent and will need big doses of love, comfort and understanding. Their world has been shattered, and because of this, the stability of their relationship with us can be a great source of strength. If our grandchildren are young, we may find it very painful that they will never get to know their parent, our child. We will want to share stories and keepsakes to help build a relationship of memory. If the family moves further away, we can help our grandchildren cope by supporting the move as positively as possible. We can reassure them that we will stay in their lives with messaging and phone calls, and plan visits where feasible. In time, our child’s partner may go on to have a new relationship. It can be painful to hear our grandchildren address a step-parent in the same affectionate terms they used for our child. Other children may come into the household. Building a relationship with the newly enlarged ‘blended’ family will take some time.
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