UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk What we may need to take care of “I’ve kept the cards that people sent when my baby was born. I don’t look at them often, but it is comforting to remember our happiness when our baby arrived. I’ve kept the condolence cards as well. They are a silent witness of both the happiest and also the saddest days of my life.” After our baby died, we will have had to register their death. Coming perhaps quite soon after registering their birth, this can feel unreal and immensely painful. We will also need to arrange a funeral. We may choose to hold onto nursery equipment and clothing for the time being. This could be in the hope or plan of having another child, or we may find that these items give us a comforting feeling of connection with our baby. Alternatively, we may give these items away. What we do is our own choice, and we should not feel pressured or hurried to make decisions about this. Some parents continue receiving baby-related mail and shopping offers, which of course will be very painful. Maybe a friend can help us by arranging for this sort of communication to be cancelled if we do not feel up to doing this ourselves. If we have other children We will need to inform our children that their sibling has died. We will want to do this in an age-appropriate way, considering their level of maturity and understanding. There is evidence that even very young children experience grief or perhaps sense our pain, even if they lack the words to express it. Older children may surprise us with their honest responses and questions. The charity Child Bereavement UK (childbereavementuk.org) has more information on how to help children cope with the death of a family member.
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