One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends In decades past, young babies who died were barely acknowledged. Thankfully times have changed, and our baby is recognised as a unique individual, regardless of the brevity of their life. Our baby is still a part of our family, and most of us want them to be remembered. If we have more children in future, we will likely want them to know about their older sibling who died before they were born. Having some pictures or mementoes on display can make this knowledge part of natural conversation. Coping with our grief “After our baby first died, I didn’t think I had the strength to keep going. Even when I managed to sleep, I had terrible nightmares. Then the pain somehow softened. I started getting out and about, and eventually went back to work. Life isn’t the same as it was but I’m coping better now.” It is so important to take care of ourselves in our grief. It can take some effort to get outside for fresh air, to eat and drink healthfully, or even have a shower, but ultimately, we will feel better for it. This includes being kind and patient with ourselves. We are doing the best we can in extraordinarily difficult circumstances. Grief will not always feel so overwhelming and unbearable, yet it does take time to find our way forward. Having people around who support us, whether friends, family members, a partner, or other bereaved parents, can make a real difference. We need people who will acknowledge the depth of our loss and recognise just how life-changing our bereavement has been. On the other hand, not everyone will empathise with what we are going through. It is not uncommon to find that established friendships or even some relationships with family members falter as people struggle to know what to say to us, and they may even avoid us. With the best of intentions, things can be said that are insensitive. Unfortunately, some of us will be hurt by well-meaning
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy OTM0NTEz