Grieving For Our Child Who Experienced Mental Health Problem

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends No parent is ever prepared for the death of their child. Even if we have lived for years with our child’s unpredictable behaviour and mental health problems, including perhaps self-harm and suicide attempts, their death will be a profound shock. No matter how they died, our grief is complex and intense. We may have a lot of troubling memories to cope with. The impact of our child’s mental illness When someone suffers from serious mental illness, they might have periods of feeling deeply unhappy or highly anxious. They may become so low that they can barely function, finding it difficult to wash, dress or even speak. This depression could suddenly switch to feeling high, not sleeping, and acting unpredictably and irrationally. They may have trouble judging what is real or not. They might hear voices or see things that no one else can. Their illness could cause them to behave in ways that later bring about regret and shame. These problems can sometimes be caused by or lead to substance misuse. To witness our child tortured in any of these ways will have been a torture to us. No matter how much we love our child, their actions may have frustrated us. They might have refused treatment, claiming they were perfectly all right, when they were in fact very ill and incapable of taking care of themselves. We might have watched in dismay at Grieving For Our Child Who Experienced Mental Health Problems