Grieving For Our Child Who Experienced Mental Health Problem

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Such fleeting thoughts cause us still more pain, as deep down we wish with all our heart that our child was still alive. It is natural to feel relief that we must no longer cope with the almost constant chaos caused by their illness. It is also natural to feel glad that someone we love is no longer suffering. However, none of this lessens our grief, and in fact, such feelings can leave us quite confused. Our suffering can be increased by the criticism of thoughtless people. Sometimes we may feel that even close family and friends are blaming us in some respects. On the other hand, they may tell us we are being too harsh on ourselves. This advice is well-meant, but it has the effect of silencing our pain. We may find that the people around us are either unwilling or unable to understand the complex layers of our grief. Coping with our grief It can be a struggle to function from one hour to the next in the early traumatic days that follow the death of a child. We will need to learn to be patient in our sorrow, setting ourselves small realistic goals that we can focus on. These will help us take our first faltering steps back into the world. To avoid being overwhelmed by our grief, we will need to make the effort to take care of ourselves. Exercise, music, relaxation therapies, being outside in nature, spending time on craft or other creative activities can all help take down the level of our pain, even if only for a short time. It may help us to write down our thoughts, even if we show no-one the results. This could be in the form of a diary, journal, articles or poems. Writing a letter to our child, expressing our feelings, can also be part of the grief process.