Grieving for Our Young Child (2-10)

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends news is no easy task. If we are a lone parent, we may be dealing with the emotional and practical consequences of the death of our child without much support. It is important that we do things in our own way, when we feel able to. We all have days when we feel unable to function, and others when we feel a tiny bit stronger and more up to confronting such tasks. Our child’s belongings and personal space Items belonging to our child will be precious to us – books, drawings, schoolwork, toys or gym kit. We may want to contact their school or other location where they spent time to arrange to collect these items. If we do not feel ready to do this ourselves, perhaps we could ask a friend to pick them up for us. At home, our child will have had their own personal space, such as their bedroom, and their belongings may also be scattered around other parts of the home. The task of sorting out our child’s possessions and clothes may fill us with dread; we may not even be able to enter our child’s room for fear of being overwhelmed by grief. It is important for us to realise that there is no hurry. It is entirely our choice when or even if we will take care of these matters. If there is nobody at home who might use these items, we will be left with questions as to what we should do with them. Some of us will choose to keep a few memorable items – perhaps things that were treasured by our child, such as a favourite jacket, a musical instrument or their smartphone. If we have other children, they may wish to keep some special items, too. We may eventually decide to dispose of some things, perhaps giving them to friends or to charity. If we do not rush the process, we may find the “right” place for many of these items. Some parents donate items to their child’s school or friends. Others have their clothes made into patchwork quilts or cushions.