Grieving for Our Young Child (2-10)

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk On the other hand, some parents prefer to preserve their child’s room as it was when they were alive, at least to begin with. This is our choice and we should not feel pressured to make quick decisions. It is worth bearing in mind that the way we – and other members of the family – feel about these material reminders of our child may change as time passes. Our child may have had their own phone or device such as a laptop or tablet computer. They may have their own ‘digital footprints’ – a blog or social media app where they posted pictures and videos. These footprints in the online world could contain many precious memories and moments that we want to preserve. More information and advice on this can be found in The Compassionate Friends (TCF) leaflet Our Child, Social Media and Their Digital Legacy : www.tcf.org.uk/content/r-digital-legacy If we have other children There is no easy way to tell our other children that their sibling has died, yet they may surprise us with their frank and honest responses and questions. Encouraging communication with our other children is usually a good idea. One of the worst things for surviving children is feeling left out and not knowing what is going on. The understanding of death develops as children become older, though there can be a lot of individual variation. In general, we are likely to find that as children approach 5-7 years old, they begin to understand the concept of death as being permanent and irreversible. The dynamics in our family will have changed, and it is possible that new tensions and discords may develop. The relationships between remaining siblings may also alter. The way that our children express their grief could depend on their personality, age and level of maturity, as well as the particular circumstances of their sibling’s death and their relationship