Grieving the Death of a Twin Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk has changed. We might be alone and without support for ourselves, or have a partner who might be grieving in a different manner. As a parent of twins, we will have the extra challenge of trying to cope with our own grief while supporting the surviving twin, as well as any other children in our family. The surviving twin will be a constant reminder of the one who has died. This may be particularly pertinent if they were identical, but all twins were born as two halves of one miraculous arrival, whether conceived naturally or as a result of fertility treatment. Any major event for the surviving twin, no matter how joyous, might bring our loss into sharper focus, knowing that two of our children should be present. Occasions such as birthdays, the first day at school, the school prom, passing a driving test, graduating from university, a wedding or birth of a grandchild can make us feel our loss more keenly. We may find ourselves worrying about our surviving child. Our fears might be even greater if a twin died due to a medical or genetic condition, as we may be afraid that the surviving twin will suffer from the same disorder. They may also harbour such fears. It might be worthwhile talking with our GP and/or seeking specialist advice. It is generally better to know the reality and facts, rather than silently fearing the worst. We will need our emotional energies to make the massive adjustment to life without our child, and to continue supporting the grieving twin and “For the whole of their lives, we had celebrated their birthday together. Now that really happy day each year has turned into a sad memory and awareness that one of the two most important people is missing. We are torn between wanting to give our daughter treats and knowing that at the same time those treats can’t give her the shared birthday that she really wants.’’ – A bereaved parent