Grieving the Death of a Twin Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Our surviving twin child Only another twin can understand the depth of loss that a surviving twin child feels. There is an enormous void that can never be filled. They had one another from the very beginning. Our surviving child always had a companion at every stage of their existence and now that person has gone. Whether their twin’s death was following an illness or was entirely unexpected, the ending of that very close relationship could be the most devastating event that ever happens to them. It is not at all surprising that many surviving twins struggle with depression. Growing up, the lone twin probably spent much of their life in the company of their twin – from being in the womb to arriving into the world, and then through the subsequent stages of development. They might have communicated together without words before they could even speak. Being the same age, they probably started school on the same day, and might have had similar interests, laughed at the same things and even had the same friends. They would have been a constant source of support for each other, whether they always got on well or not. Most likely they understood one another better than anyone else. The surviving twin would expect this shared history and exclusive form of support to continue throughout life. Even if one twin had a prior medical problem, their death will have been a huge shock. It will have shattered the security that came from their twinship and made them uncertain about what to expect from their own future. It could make them question the meaning of their own life. “It never occurred to either of us that one of us might not be here one day – we expected our twinness to last for ever. Being girl/boy twins, we had different hobbies and friends, but at the root of everything, my twin was there when I needed him.” – A bereaved twin