Living with grief

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Some of us may find we need outside help, such as professional counselling, if our grief remains very intense as time goes by. If this is the case, we may wish to seek advice from our GP. Helping ourselves What can we do to help ourselves and live with the “new normal” of grief? Many of us benefit from a mixture of both new and familiar activities. Trying something new demands a level of concentration that can divert us momentarily from the intensity of our grief. Meanwhile, more familiar activities can bring a comforting sense of continuity. Physical activities are often beneficial. This could be walking, swimming, cycling, dancing, gardening or sports. Keeping active not only boosts our general health and well-being, but also helps tire us out, so that we can perhaps get a better night’s sleep. Being outside in green spaces is restorative. Yoga, t’ai chi, aromatherapy, massage and reflexology are relaxing and nurturing. Meditation and mindfulness can help bring calm. Taking up a creative activity can not only occupy the mind and provide a challenge, but it can also bring us a sense of achievement and even joy. Painting, sewing, crafts, cooking or DIY jobs can be absorbing and give us a much-needed break from our grief. Reading or doing crosswords or other puzzles can also be distracting. Joining classes or study groups – in person or online – can provide the diversion of a new challenge and the opportunity to meet new people. Watching television, or going to the theatre or cinema, can provide temporary distraction from our feelings. It can be a good idea to check the subject matter beforehand to avoid anything that could distress us more, although we can still be caught unawares. Music has a unique power to bring emotion to the surface. We can listen to music at home or attend concerts. If we play an instrument or sing in a choir, we can connect with others in the making and