Living with grief

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk appreciation of music. Dancing, in its many forms, combines exercise and the enjoyment of music. Writing can be an excellent outlet for our emotions, even if we never show anyone the results, or tear up the pages afterwards. Keeping a diary or journaling can later provide us with a yardstick of our journey through a time of despair to one of relative calm. Some of us start blogs. We might like to write poems and articles for Compassion, the quarterly journal published by TCF. Some of us draw comfort and strength from our faith, whether alone or in community. While our religious faith may help sustain us, some of us may find ourselves questioning long-held beliefs. We may discover different elements of our faith or even a new faith entirely, or work out our own philosophy. If we are employed, we may be able to take extended leave, or alternatively, circumstances may require us to return to work quite soon. When we are consumed with grief it can be difficult to manage our professional responsibilities and interactions with our colleagues, who may not always know how to respond to us. On the other hand, some find going back to work helpful, as it opens up social contact and adds structure and purpose to our days. If we are not employed, we might want to consider finding part- time or voluntary work. This can help bring a new sense of purpose. Similarly, campaigning or fund-raising for charity – perhaps for a cause connected with our child’s life or the cause of their death – can help us to find a new sense of meaning. The stress of our child’s death can leave us vulnerable to infection and illness. We may find that our health deteriorates or that new health problems occur. To counteract this, we will need to pay attention to our diet, and the need for rest and exercise, as well as avoiding negative coping techniques such as over-drinking or over- eating. We should not hesitate to seek medical advice if we need it.