Long term illness

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk Grieving, fighting and hoping After the initial feelings of shock, disbelief and anger, we invested our energies in the fight ahead. During our child’s illness we will have had to adapt our own lives, routines and home spaces. The care of our child will have taken centre stage. We exhausted ourselves by living in a continued state of hyper- anxiety. We may have been unable to eat or sleep properly for long periods, and might have needed medication to keep going. We may have spent long periods with them at the hospital. Perhaps we witnessed our child undergoing painful procedures. We may have nursed them right to the end, without ourselves having medical or nursing training. We may have become exhausted and traumatised, all while needing to maintain a cheerful, brave face for our child’s sake. There may have been intolerable strains within the rest of the family. If we have other children, this will have also been a hard time for them, and we will have had to take care of their needs as well. If our child was an adult, we may have had to accept their right to confidentiality and control over their treatment. If they had a partner, they may have been the prime carer, and we might not have been present as much as we would have wished. Many terminal illnesses bring an emotional rollercoaster of hope and fear. Surgery or drug therapy may bring remission, a welcome period of normality and expectancy that the worst is past, only to have hopes dashed as symptoms return with renewed intensity. We may have experienced deep despair. Our child’s suffering may have been so severe that we found ourselves sometimes hoping and praying for the end to come. The fact that we thought this way is not surprising. We love our child