Long term illness

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends and did not want them to suffer. Still, remembering our thoughts might leave us feeling confused. On similar lines, when the end finally came, we might have felt a degree of relief. Now we wonder, how could we have felt glad that our child had left us? Needless to say, these feelings would have quickly passed, replaced by intense sadness, pain and perhaps guilt. The early days of grieving The death of our child turned our world upside down, just as when we first received their diagnosis. Death is always a shock, even when expected - a time when all hope has finally been snatched away and we must begin to face a future without our child. Caring for them has been the focus of our lives, and suddenly we are left with a great void. It is not easy to adjust to the loss of structure and purpose to each day, which was until now built around the needs of our sick child. It is difficult to re-enter the world of those everyday practicalities which seem to dominate the lives of most households, and which now seem so trivial in the face of our tragic loss. Now that the intense, ever-present concern about saving our child is over, we might have more time on our hands, but the fight to save them will have taken every ounce of emotional strength. This, along with our emptiness and fear for the future, can leave us struggling to face the tasks of daily living. This is on top of what must be taken care of in relation to our child’s death, such as funeral arrangements, the return of medical equipment, and so on. Sometimes the care of a child with a long-term illness or disability has not only defined our lives, but being with other parent-carers has also provided our support network and social circle. When we are no longer a carer, we may lose this support. We may feel that we no