For parents bereaved of an only child or all their children

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends Keeping their memory alive For bereaved parents, it is vital that our children’s names live on in some way. Taking time for remembrance activities is important. Keeping their memory alive through blogposts, books, art or music, memorials or benches, charity events or donations, can encourage us that they are going to be remembered. When we face some of the complex suffering involved in the loss of an only child, or all our children, we may perhaps discover new strengths within ourselves. This can take time and cannot be rushed. In the search for a life of renewed meaning, we may find some comfort through involvement in the lives of others, perhaps working to achieve some of the dreams which our child held dear. In this way we may reconcile the past with the present, giving ourselves a positive commitment to the future. Going forward Our child or children will probably have been the centre of our lives in some respects. Now they are gone, we will need to re-establish ourselves and try to find meaning in a life that is very different. Although this will be a long and painful struggle, as we draw on our own inner resources, we will find a way through. It is likely that we will make new friends, some of whom we have found through TCF. As bereaved parents we have all struggled, but then discovered in short moments of unexpected peace or happiness that we can have hope. Our grief will not always be so intense. Most of all, the love of our children remains forever. Their precious memories are part of us. Even now, they give us strength to carry on.