Our surviving adult children

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends As time goes by, some parents find their adult children start to distance themselves. Relationships sometimes deteriorate and this can hurt very much. We have already lost one child; we do not want to lose another. There can be so many reasons for this. They may have found returning to the parental home too upsetting. It could be due to the differences in the way we each grieve, but of course, it may not be connected with grief at all. Adult children have their own lives to lead and they do not always see eye to eye with their parents. Sometimes as parents we feel powerless to improve communications, yet as we continue to offer patience and unconditional love, there is always hope of reconciliation. Support for adult bereaved siblings “I found Facebook groups more useful than anything because I could choose what content I would see as and when I wanted to.” Mohsen Our surviving children may step back from us as a form of self-protection, or may just need some time and space to grieve in their own way. They may choose to talk to friends rather than family, or may find other sources of support, such as online groups. They may find a work colleague or friend who is in a similar position to them. Any of this may provide them with outlets for their thoughts and worries which shields us as their parents from their concerns. On the other hand, if our children are young adults, they may find that their peers lack the life experience to be able to respond to their grief. At a time when their friends are absorbed in social activities, new careers or studying, they may suddenly feel isolated. This is where organisations such as The Compassionate Friends (TCF) can be a real help, providing interaction with their peers who have been bereaved in similar ways. The Compassionate Friends offers support to bereaved adult siblings through newsletters, events, social media and online groups. There are support days and weekend events. Find more information for bereaved siblings at tcf.org.uk/siblings Resources for bereaved siblings