Our surviving children

UK Helpline: 0 345 123 23 0 4 | tcf.org.uk they would like to talk, and we can further help by affirming that their experience is likely to be different from others in the family. If they prefer not to talk, we can suggest other outlets such as writing in a journal, on a blog, art, photography, sports or through music. They may want to create an online memorial or connect with peers grieving a similar loss. It’s important that teenagers have some say in how they memorialise the person who died and how they express their feelings. Often teens are feeling a loss of control, and regaining it - even in a small way - is important. Often siblings feel at ease only with their closest friends even though these friends may themselves have little experience of bereavement. The bereaved child may appreciate the chance to escape into normality with trusted friends. Eventually, they may find that talking to other bereaved siblings can be a great help. For a more detailed description of how children and teenagers grieve, see childbereavementuk.org/supporting-bereaved-children-and-young- people Some issues we will have to face whatever the ages of our surviving children The funeral and the aftermath We will need to make decisions about whether our children should attend the funeral service as well as any planned memorial ceremonies later. Religious and cultural considerations may be a factor, along with our child’s age. If we are able to offer our child a choice as to whether to take part or not, we should be careful to explain what will take place, so this is not left to their imagination. Saying goodbye at a funeral, the wake or memorial service can be comforting, and our child’s participation, if we have judged it appropriate, can be helpful for them as they go forward. For more on this subject, please see the TCF Leaflet Preparing our child’s funeral .