The Police and Bereaved Parents

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk You will need to combine professionalism with the utmost compassion and kindness . The way in which you and your colleagues communicate with the parents in these early moments and hours of their grief will have a lasting impact. Parents have described how they have replayed the initial conversation with police officers regarding the death of their child over and over again in their minds. For some, the comforting reassurance they were offered helped calm them in the moment. For others, insensitivity created lasting distress. Whenever possible, parents who are living as a couple should be told together . Sometimes the father is told on his own in an effort to ‘protect’ the mother, but this rarely does anything but add to the distress of both parents. If one of the parents is temporarily absent, you will have to decide how best to convey the news. If the parents are divorced or living apart it may not be possible to talk to them together. Again, you will need to judge how best to ensure both parents are informed. Some police officers speak first to a neighbour to confirm that they are approaching the right family, or to gain information about their whereabouts. If you need to do this, do not reveal the death to the neighbour. If you need to inform a parent at their workplace , it is best to ask the management for a private room where you can break the news. A manager or member of the HR department may also be able to suggest a sympathetic colleague who can help with any work-related arrangements if you will be taking the parent home. Again, do not give the reason for your visit to anyone else before speaking with the parent. Although a sudden death may be the result of a crime , bear in mind that this may be the last thing on the parents’ minds. Please treat parents with particular sensitivity when making your enquiries.