The Compassionate Friends (UK) 13 Remembering at special places and memorial sites Setting up a memorial corner in our home We may choose to set up a memorial corner where we live. • We could dedicate a space in our home where we put our child’s photos, items of clothing, their toys, or their books; we may choose to light some candles from time to time, or decide to have a combination of all these things. • Another idea could be a ‘memory capsule’, where we choose special things related to our child and place them together in a box or chest which we can look at whenever we want to. Overall, memorial corners give us a safe place to go to if we are having a tough day and a place for people to acknowledge our child when they visit. They give our child a permanent spot in our home. Our child’s grave or other special site Our child’s grave or the location where we scattered their ashes is a very special place for us. Some people visit the grave frequently, others less often – it is entirely up to us. We might sit in silence, or we may pray. Many of us talk to our children. The physical location can have a way of focusing our thoughts. We could also consider: • Bringing items to the grave such as plants in pots, little ornaments, candles, and so on – although it is worth remembering that some cemeteries have strict regulations about what mourners are allowed to place at graves. • Arranging for friends or family members to meet at a significant place that reminds us of our child, to share stories and remember them. Setting up a memorial to our child in a public place We could: • Arrange for a memory plaque to be made. What we choose to have inscribed on it is up to us, whether it’s their birthday, the date of their death, a poem, or simply their name. • Organise a memory bench or tree with a plaque. This is another way of sharing our child’s memory more publicly and it can also give us a place to go and sit. Our local council should might have information about the purchase and placement of benches.
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