Handbook of Ideas for Remembering our Child | tcf.org.uk 16 Keeping our child ‘in the conversation’ Our children are never far from our thoughts, and we naturally want other people to remember them too. We might find we need to take the lead with this amongst our family and friends. • We may choose to talk about them to people who knew them well or perhaps those who didn’t get the chance to meet them. • We might consider how we would like to keep our child involved on special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and other events that our family and friends celebrate. Perhaps we could raise a toast to them or in some way invoke their memory. We could keep a space at the table for them, or buy some decorations that we know they would have chosen. We might choose to dedicate a minute’s silence to them or allocate a time of the day to talk about them. We could invite everyone to write a short message to our child on a paper heart, leaf or flower and later make these into a collage. • Creating memorial items to gift to others is another possibility. For example, fridge or car magnets with maybe a joke they once told or a saying they had or a lyric from their favourite song or film or a quote that inspired them. We could do the same thing with business cards that we could share with friends. • We might want to include our child’s name on a Christmas card or any greeting cards we send. Finding places to talk about our child It is really helpful to find places where we can freely talk about our child and share our memories. TCF organises meetings and weekend gatherings where we can be amongst other bereaved parents. Useful Links tcf.org.uk/inyourarea - find support in your area. tcf.org.uk/events - suppportive events.
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