The Compassionate Friends (UK) 9 Remembering with their belongings Our child’s belongings are likely to be extremely important to us. After all, they are a part of our child and who they were. Some of us like to keep our child’s belongings, as these objects link us with our memories, but this may not be possible or desirable for everyone. Sometimes sharing our child’s belongings with others is a way forward. Items could be shared with friends and family members, or donated to a charity shop or a homeless shelter. Whatever we decide, it’s worth remembering that if and when we choose to give some or all of our child’s belongings away, it should be when we feel ready. It doesn’t matter how long this takes. We could: • Choose to keep a small item that belonged to them and carry it around with us wherever we go, such as a keyring, a necklace, a small toy or a watch. This can help reinforce to ourselves that our child is always with us somehow. This can be particularly helpful on a difficult day. Holding onto it in our pocket or taking it out to look at it can be an extreme comfort. • Keep an item at home that we can wear, hug or look at. • Use a special item that belonged to our child, such as a shopping bag. • Wear our child’s clothes. • Frame one of our child’s garments, or just have a special place in our home where we hang up an item of clothing belonging to our child. • Display small meaningful items such as jewellery - a nice glass jar can be an inexpensive way of doing this. • Represent our child’s favourite colour or style of clothing on a toy - for example buy a teddy bear wearing red or a checked shirt. • Make, or have made, a cushion, memory quilt or tapestry out of our child’s clothing. • Get our child’s name engraved on a necklace, or buy jewellery with the first initial of their name. • Make name wristbands with our child’s name on and give them to friends to wear and perhaps take a photo in different places when they are travelling.
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