SIBBS Newsletter, Autumn 2021

SIBBS Newsletter, Autumn 2021 | www.tcf.org.uk 5 I can’t lie: it was an anxious experience making the decision. It was incredibly worrying sending off this piece of Martin to strangers, not knowing how they would treat it, what would come back, if anything would come back. I spent a small fortune on the postage option giving the most protection to this jacket, to make sure it’d be back with me if the plan didn’t go, well, according to plan! Fortunately, it did. My bear, which is named Martin (as its stamped paw declares), arrived within a week and I literally felt the warmth of the relief it brought as soon as I opened the box. Holding something that “is Martin” was something I didn’t know I needed that much until that moment. The face of the bear makes me smile, and the crafters at Tiller & Co took so much care, paying great attention to detail in how they positioned the motifs from the original clothing on the new body. Of all the memorialising I have done, and I’ve done a fair few things, this is one of the best in terms of the comfort that looking at it daily brings. My Martin bear is where old meets new memory in such a happy rather than tainted way. Take time to do the work of grief. Grieve in the way that best works for you, talk about your feelings, be gentle with yourself, and remember that this is not a path that needs to be walked alone. There are loving and caring people who are willing to be there with you. Reach out, get support, and know that only the strong know how to ask for help. Howard Winokeur and Heidi Horsley, TCF US magazine