SIBBS Newsletter Autumn 2022

SIBBS Newsletter, Autumn 2022 | www.tcf.org.uk 8 Maintaining connections with your sibling Staying connected to the memory of my sister Sophia after all these years, is something I constantly think and worry about losing. But I’ve realised I can maintain it by surrounding myself with symbolic items and memories. One of these being my tattoo’s. I have a number of tattoos in memory of my sister, but my first was inspired from what is known as an unalome arrow. It’s used to represent the path of past struggles moving to enlightenment. I chose this because I wanted something which represented the dark days I and my family faced growing up with the loss of my sister, but also then the straight line ‘path’ leading out of the chaos. Below the tattoo is a short Latin phrase ‘Alis volat propriis’ which translates to “She flies with her own wings" to signify and pay homage to my sister - my guardian angel, forever watching over me. My 6th tattoo is of two specific roses that mean a lot to myself and my parents. I believe we were gifted a rose bush not long after my sister’s funeral, which very fittingly was known as a ‘Sophia’ rose. I sent a photograph to my tattoo artist so that I could immortalise the memory of the beautiful yellow, orange and pink roses that bloom every year. Although I chose to have these tattoo’s, I always found them hard to talk about when people asked, but after many years it is slowly becoming much easier for me to tell others all about the links to my amazing sister. Another item I hold dear, that never (If I can help it) leaves my side is my necklace and ash pendant. I always felt like I had to have items of my sisters to maintain that connection, but over the years I’ve come to realise that it’s not always the case. I received my necklace and pendant a few years after the death of my sister, and it soon became one of my most treasured items. It’s become a part of me, my identity and my appearance. Whenever I feel sad, low, anxious, excited, scared I find myself