SIBBS Newsletter Summer 2022

SIBBS Newsletter, Summer 2022 | www.tcf.org.uk 11 understanding and familiarity between them. For some participants, this connection was a deciding factor in why they chose to participate in the research as they knew that Laura was also a bereaved sibling. One of the most difficult interactions that participants mentioned was responding to the question of how many siblings they had, as it forced them to choose an answer and voice it out loud. Participants once again expressed a range of techniques for managing this situation, ranging between complete honestly and full denial. Yet most participants had experimented over time with different responses, using a trial and error approach to find an answer which suited them best. Many participants stated that practising and changing their approach over the years had given them greater confidence and enabled them to feel more relaxed when discussing or disclosing their bereavement in a way that suited them. There were several other reasons why these moments had become more comfortable. For example, participants talked about a public assumption that grief fades over time, once it is ‘resolved’ or people begin to ‘move on’, so the audience didn’t panic as much when the bereavement was mentioned. Also, participants noted that people are more familiar with death and grief as they get older so they were often more practised and less uncomfortable when the topic came up. Time As well as the relationships we have (or don’t have) with others, time is a great influencing factor in the way that grief and bereavement are experienced. Participants noted that annual markers, such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, brought about ‘waves’ of grief as they acted as reminders of who and what has been lost. In addition, these moments also emphasised the passing of time, highlighting that one more year had been lived without the deceased sibling. Often participants commented that the point at which more time had been lived without the sibling than with them was a challenging acknowledgement. For some participants, however, it was not the