SIBBS Newsletter, Winter 2020

SIBBS Newsletter, Winter 2020 | www.tcf.org.uk 11 As Cathy said, you hope that if you play by the rules that everything will be ok, and you hope that if you love someone enough you can bring them back. I’ve lived by these rules my whole life, and I didn’t know other people did too. I sat beside my brother for weeks pouring every gram of love I had in my body into him hoping he would come back to me, but he didn’t. I felt relief listening to Cathy’s words that some of these misconceptions didn’t just belong to me. I listened and learnt in these dark times that compassion to yourself is the most important thing you can access. Cathy also said that ‘’death is the end of a life not the end of a relationship’’, this helped me acknowledge that I can keep my brother alive even without his physical body being present. All those years my brother and I spent together did still happen, they were real and it doesn’t have to end there. I am grateful for Cathy’s insight and undeniable honesty. This was also my first experience with TCF. Thank you so much for welcoming me, I felt part of a community that as a bereaved sibling doesn’t happen too often. You have created an enduring safe space for grief and bereavement in everyday life and I couldn’t be more grateful. It comes and goes, as the cold snow blows, drifting aimlessly until piling on my heart. Anger, sadness, pain and guilt, all gifts I bring unwillingly as the holidays impart. I try to hide my grieving heart beneath gifts and decorations, but eventually, they come apart. The holiday season comes on quick and leaves just as fast. Although seasons and grief depart, they linger in the heart. NOTE: Grenades & Guillotines: Navigating Loss and Finding Hope is available to watch at http://y2u.be/cgoQMQNnPBA Poem from lovetoknow.com