TCF News, Issue 107 Summer 2021

Summer 2021 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 5 A warm thank you to all our wonderful volunteers offering their time and empathy to bereaved parents and siblings. In this Volunteer Focus feature we meet Terry and Liz and find out a bit more about their lives before finding our charity, how they got involved in TCF and their motivations for and reflections on volunteering. Terry Ahern Can you tell us a little about your life before becoming involved in our charity? By way of background, I am a qualified accountant having spent my career working at a senior level in large corporations. I moved to London from South Wales as a young man, married Maria and we had our son, James. I’ve always tried to be active; I enjoy sport (previously as a player but now as a spectator), rugby being my passion. My roots are very important to me and I visit my family and friends in Wales regularly. I’m a keen gardener too. Sadly, my sister Jane died when we were children and so as well as being a bereaved parent I’ve been a bereaved sibling for over fifty years. How did you get involved with The Compassionate Friends? Can you tell us a little about your volunteer role(s) with the charity? Tragically, we lost James nearly seven years ago. Maria found TCF online and she unsuccessfully tried to persuade me to attend a weekend retreat. My close family and friends were my support at the time and during those terrible early months, I resisted any other form of support. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my grief with strangers. After more arm-twisting I finally agreed to attend a TCF retreat at Willersley Castle. I agreed to go so that I could keep Maria company and I had no intention of attending any sessions. I resolved that I would spend my time walking and exploring the surrounding countryside being back in time to have dinner with Maria and thus fulfil my part of the bargain. My plan changed however when I met the inspirational Gina Claye. Also from Wales and sharing my passion for rugby, she immediately put me at ease. It was suggested that I might take some of the other parents with me on my walk and this was something I felt comfortable with so I agreed. Meeting other bereaved parents made me realise that I wasn’t cursed. By the time the retreat ended, I didn’t want to leave! How do you relax and recharge? Walking has been central to my well-being since losing James and I take every opportunity to go on walks both in groups and alone. After that weekend at Willersley, it was a fairly easy transition to lead walks at subsequent TCF retreats (which I attended quite enthusiastically after that first one!) I also volunteer for a walking charity leading walks in London, and that is what led to Maria suggesting that I use this experience to offer walks for bereaved parents and siblings with TCF. The first series of walks began in the spring of 2018, taking place monthly through to early autumn. Volunteer focus Terry and James Ahern