Winter 2021 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 10 Jo Booth remembers her mother, Beryl Ross-Bain On 8 October this year, we said goodbye to my wonderful mum Beryl Ross-Bain. Mum and I were always extremely close but became even more so after we lost my wonderful dad, John, ten years ago. Writing the tributes to mum and dad brought back many memories from 32 years ago when The Compassionate Friends became so important in our lives. A few years ago, I asked mum to write her life story. She wrote, “The perfect family, married to John, the love of my life, and our two wonderful children, Joanne and Howard, who I adored.” Life changed suddenly for our family when my brother Howard was tragically killed two months before his 21st birthday in August 1989. Howard was a student. He and his girlfriend were interrailing around Europe. While in Turkey they were struck by a car driven by a drunken driver. Howard died of his injuries. As a family we were devastated. Mum and dad, while supporting me, struggled to find the right help for themselves until one day they were contacted by The Compassionate Friends and gained support, care, understanding and ultimately friendship from being with and talking to other bereaved parents who understood, better than anyone, how they were feeling. Over time mum and dad became more involved and committed to the work of TCF and would meet with newly bereaved parents, giving them the support, care and understanding that they themselves had received. They also did much-needed fundraising. Mum wrote and published ‘What’s Cooking?’, a cookbook dedicated to the memory of Howard and to all parents who had lost a child. It was compiled from the favourite recipes of members of The Compassionate Friends and was a huge success. Mum also had an article published in a TCF magazine detailing how a new interest in keepfit had helped maintain her sanity. She decided on the first day that this was for Howard, and she took him with her in her heart and mind. Mum and dad attended local and national TCF gatherings, and it was at a national conference in Durham that they first met Joe and Iris Lawley, two of TCF’s founding parents. As Joe quoted in the lovely letter he wrote to mum after dad had passed away, “Looming on the horizon was the prospect of holding the very first International Gathering in the UK. I as Chairman was lumbered with finding someone who could run such an event. A colleague said to me ‘Go and speak to that man over there!’.” That man was my dad, John Ross-Bain, who had recently retired from his position as Head In Memoriam remembering Beryl Ross-Bain “In this photo mum is wearing a gold necklace that she always wore which is actually the TCF logo. I’m not sure if she had it made or whether they were made available but mum wore it all the time for many years!” Beryl & John Ross-Bain
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