Winter 2021 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 5 The prospect of having to talk about Etta to a group of people felt daunting. We signed up to attend a whole day session in Romsey with Compassionate Friends knowing that it would be difficult, emotional and traumatic. I had been avoiding and dreading the day but knew that it was time to start to try and face some feelings. As we drove to Romsey, we shared our fears and made a pact that if it was too much, we would leave together and be home by lunchtime, convinced that we would not be able to stay for the duration. The first introductions went well and the ease and friendliness of everyone at the centre was evident, through a shared experience of grief and loss. There was a clear sense of compassion and kindness from total strangers, all of whom had a story to share of a loved one whose death had come too soon. In small groups, and for the first time in a while I was able to talk about my daughter's life in a meaningful and unhurried way, to remember her and speak about her life, and her death. It felt ok to cry, to laugh and to just be me, because every single person in the room was reliving their own journey. We stayed for the whole day because it felt right to do so, to be allowed to cry without judgement, to be able to experience our own pain and the pain of others and to share in the collective sorrow somehow helped. At the end of the day I was exhausted. It was emotional, difficult and painful to share memories, but it was also nice to be able to speak openly about a daughter who was so loved and is missed every minute of each day. It has taken a few weeks to be able to process what happened on the day at Romsey. I do know that I felt different the next day, for the better, it’s a small intangible change, and I still can’t say what it is that has changed in me, but just being able to be amongst people who understand what I am going through without feeling guilty about upsetting people was good. Everyone was supportive and respectful and you just knew that you could say anything and be yourself, something that I hide every day in order to protect other people from the overwhelming grief and loss of my beautiful daughter. Jenny commented... “I just want to say what a wonderful event Saturday was. It was so comforting and reassuring to be among other bereaved parents who understand TOTALLY what we all individually are going through. It has uplifted me meeting and sharing our experiences and taking away in my heart those other parents and our beloved lost children. The Compassionate Friends is an amazing and essential charity for grieving parents. I’m overwhelmed at the volunteers’ compassion, commitment and time. It is absolutely something I would like to be involved with in the future. Thank you so much to everyone.” Derbyshire support day - October 2021
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