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Autumn 2020 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 6 I’ve ever done. I spoke to a lovely lady whose name was Jenny I think and she sent me loads of information and suddenly I wasn’t on my own any more. The first person I met was Catharine Pointer who was the librarian at that time, the library then being about a 25 minute drive from my house. I’ve been a reader all my life, and books have always been my first port of call in any of life’s crises, so I was a pretty regular customer and I think I read most of the books in the library over the next few years. It was Catharine herself though who gave me my first glimmer of hope because she was such a positive and inspirational person. I could see that she’d survived and was living a meaningful life and she just kept me going somehow and I’m not the only one by a long shot. Can you tell us a little about your role with TCF? I continued to visit the library after it moved into Chatham and then up to Suffolk. I also continued to read lots of the books, although fewer as time passed, and began to find out how it all worked. I volunteered by writing reviews and trawling through the book reviews and newspapers to find books which might suit us and became more and more interested in it. Then, six years ago, the library moved to be housed with our head office, then in Deptford, and Gil Roberts, who’d done an amazing job running the library for the previous six years, resigned as librarian. It seemed natural for me to take it over and that’s what I do now. It’s a unique postal library, there’s nothing like it anywhere else on the planet, and I send parcels of books out to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings across the UK. I also advise other organisations and TCF in other countries about books which are helpful for bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings and I try to liaise with authors to encourage them if they are writing a book which would help us or to feedback positive reactions from readers I’ve sent their book to. The library also contains our archive so I can provide information for groups across the globe about our history as well as suggesting poems or readings for services and events which are being arranged. What’s the best thing about your role? It’s hard to pinpoint one particular thing but, if I have to, it’s knowing the books I’ve selected have helped someone. It’s very much a two way process and helping someone else helps you, as a volunteer, too. I remember how much the library helped me and it’s so satisfying to know someone else has benefitted from it too. I love meeting readers at weekend retreats or the AGM and occasionally at the library. It’s also nice to keep in touch by phone or Email or letter and to exchange our thoughts and worries and the day to day happenings in our lives. Most of our books are bought by readers and, on the inside cover, there will be a bookplate with a dedication to a beloved child or sibling or grandparent and there’s often a photo there too. I feel very privileged to see all those photos and love looking at them, something I can easily spend hours doing! What is challenging about your role with TCF? Most people who contact the library are very newly bereaved and don’t really know what books will be best for them. When I first joined I picked some out and Catharine very gently suggested it might not be the best selection and she was right. After all these years I know the books very well and will usually be asked to make a selection. It’s a huge responsibility though, and one I never take lightly. I can easily spend 30 or 40 minutes, or more sometimes, looking at books and thinking about the person I’m sending them to trying really hard to match the two. I’m sure I get it wrong sometimes but it’s never because I’ve just grabbed the nearest book; that’s something I would never do. It is a challenge but it’s one I relish and getting it right is what makes the whole thing worthwhile. Are there areas of your volunteering with TCF that you would like to develop? I try to develop all the time and have done some on-line courses with the OU and other universities on things like grief, bereavement and PTSD so I can keep up to date with current thinking. I think it’s the latter which I’d like to develop most because the vast majority of us suffer from PTSD and it’s a subject which is under-represented in the library. I have some books on PTSD now and I’m intent on both increasing and improving that section of the library and on expanding my own knowledge on the subject. What do you like to do to relax and recharge? It’s probably no surprise to know I read a lot and like to relax with a good book, mostly murder mysteries and history, either factual or novels, these days. I’m also very interested in genealogy, and have compiled a huge family tree going back to the early 1600s, plus I knit and love cooking, doing crosswords and sudoku. My favourite thing though is to spend time with friends and family, either chatting over a coffee or a meal or going to the cinema or theatre. Many of my friends were made through TCF, the best friends I wish I’d never had to have, and I spend a lot of time with those lovely people now.