TCF News, Autumn 2021

Autumn 2021 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 6 A warm thank you to all our volunteers offering their time and empathy to bereaved parents and siblings. In this Volunteer Focus feature we meet Rebecca who is a moderator for the TCF SIBBS Facebook group for bereaved adult siblings. Can you tell us a little bit about your life before becoming involved in our charity? The years leading up to becoming involved in the charity were tough for me. My parents and my little sister died of cancer in a short space of time. I started to have therapy at this time because of the stress I was under, and I knew I needed to look after my mental health. I found The Compassionate Friends a few months after my sister Katie died in April 2017. I did have quite a stressful job, but I made some changes, working 4 days a week and I began studying psychodynamic counselling. This took me 5 years and I recently qualified as a psychodynamic counsellor. I am lucky to have a great family – my brother, brother-in-law, sister-in-law and two beautiful nieces that I spend a lot of time with. I have a wide circle of friends who I keep in close contact with. I have raised money for various charities like many people do but have never been involved in a charity like I am at The Compassionate Friends. How did you get involved with The Compassionate Friends? Can you tell us a little about your volunteer role with the charity? After Katie died, I wanted to connect with others who had also lost a sibling. Katie was only 34 when she died of lung cancer, and I didn’t know anyone who could relate to this painful experience. I found The Compassionate Friends after a google search and I met some other members of the bereaved sibling group after being a member for a few months. I found this helpful and so I organised another meet up in London. It was lovely to meet other people who understood how I felt, and I felt I had known them for years! When we went into lockdown, I organised a few informal zoom meet ups and it was then that I was asked if I would like a volunteer place. Originally, I was going to facilitate the zoom meet ups but I decided that perhaps that wasn’t the right role for me as I wanted to feel more part of the group. I was then asked if I would like to be a Facebook moderator which I felt was more suited to me because I often spent time reading people’s posts and commenting when I felt that I could relate to how the member was feeling. I took on the volunteer role around 4 years after Katie died. I felt in the right space emotionally to take on this role. My role involves replying to emails from bereaved siblings who would like to join the Facebook support group and taking them through the process of joining. I check the Facebook group every day, and will respond to many of the posts, offering my support, reassurance, and experience. If I have any concerns about someone from the content of their post, I will either contact them or speak to another volunteer. I also share TCF posts that I think will be helpful for bereaved siblings as well as expressing how I am doing and anything I want to share with the group that I think could be of benefit. What is the best thing about volunteering? There are so many! It’s really moving when someone new joins, shares their story and then receives a lot of support from the group, especially Volunteer focus - Rebecca Noorian Rebecca Noorian