TCF News Autumn 2022

Autumn 2022 - TCF Newsletter | www.tcf.org.uk 10 I was so sad to hear of the death of my friend Gill. I met Gill about two years after her son Will died, so around fourteen years ago. She’d written a book of poetry for Will, entitled ‘My True Son’ and, as a volunteer for the library, I was asked to review it. I loved the book, and still do, so was pleased when Gill contacted me to thank me for the review. We actually met for the first time at the fortieth anniversary TCF gathering and found we could talk so easily about our children, our struggle to get through the days and the coincidence of us having the same surname! She even managed to coax a poem out of me at the poetry workshop she was running, a unique achievement that no-one else has been able to replicate. At that time Gill was sending regular essays in to ‘Compassion’ Magazine and later many of these, together with more of Gill’s wonderful poetry and contributions from others, were published in Gill’s second book, ‘Aspects of Loss’ which is one of the best books to help bereaved parents that I’ve read. Over the years I got to know Gill much better and I know how much she loved and missed Will and how much she wanted to help others who were suffering in the same way. For a long time she managed the “Childless Parents” group and, although she eventually left that role, she continued to try and help others until the end of her life. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend Gill’s beautiful funeral service and, as is often the case, learned so much more about someone I thought I knew; how talented she was as an artist and a poet, how she did The Times crossword every day, and how many people loved and will miss her, including me. Gill’s books are a wonderful legacy, they will be helping bereaved parents for many decades to come, but, for me, her kindness and care for other people, inspired by her great love for Will, is her greatest legacy. My thoughts are now with her husband Edwin as he faces the future without his beloved wife and son. By Mary Hartley We asked John Robertson how she’d helped him and these are his thoughts:- I was so sad to hear of the death of Gill Hartley. Gill was one of the first people I met within the TCF organisation at the time when she was running the Childless Parents Group. By that point in my life I had gone to a deep, dark, hopeless place not caring if I lived or died and it was largely due to Gill and her high level of empathy and insight into the condition of parents bereaved of their only child, born of her own tragic circumstances with the loss of her beloved son Will, that I was able to climb up out of the dark and live some sort of normal life. In Memoriam remembering Gill Hartley 1944 - 2022