Grieving for our Pre-teen or Teenage Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk Taking care of ourselves We will need to make a special effort to take care of ourselves in the midst of our grief. This includes physical care – eating well, getting rest and exercising – as well as emotional and psychological care. It can help to talk with others, or perhaps to try to write down our feelings. Participating in activities which have previously helped us to relax may be a good idea, such as walking in nature, baking, crafting, listening to music or reading. Above all, we need to be kind to ourselves and not apply pressure by trying desperately to do all we used to do. Our life has changed, and we need time and space for this massive adjustment. If we can take time to look after ourselves physically and emotionally, it may help us psychologically. However, some of us find that self-care is not sufficient, and we are too overwhelmed by our loss. If that is our situation, we can turn to our GP for signposting to services such as bereavement counselling. We are fortunate if we have friends and family members who try to support us and understand the depth of our loss. On the other hand, it is not uncommon to find that some established friendships falter, as people struggle knowing what to say. We may even find that some friends and acquaintances avoid us. Some people’s comments, while well-meaning, can come across as insensitive and even hurtful. To be told that our child’s death “was probably for the best” or that our child “was an angel who went to heaven” may not be any comfort. We may wish to quietly step away from those whose comments make our grief harder to bear. All of this underlines how important it can be to communicate with other bereaved parents who can understand what we are going through because they have been there too. Many of us find this mutual support invaluable. The Compassionate Friends (TCF) holds