Grieving for our Pre-teen or Teenage Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk climbing, sky-diving and motor-biking are just some of the activities available to older children. They may also experiment with drugs or alcohol. Risk-taking is a common human behaviour – particularly amongst teenagers – and in many cases no-one, including ourselves or our child, is to blame when a tragedy occurs. Even if we know our child’s death was an unforeseeable accident, we still might feel guilty, turning over in our minds the things we could have said or done that might have saved them. It is important to be kind to ourselves. We often judge ourselves much more harshly than we do others in similar circumstances. If we have other children There is no easy way to tell our other children that their sibling has died, but it is vital we do so as soon as possible. While we may want to protect them from the details, and we will adapt our explanation according to their age and maturity, we should bear in mind that they will probably find out what happened very soon through other sources. This is particularly so if our child’s death was sudden, such as in the case of suicide or an accident, or if they were a victim of violence. Stories about our child’s death may become common knowledge extremely quickly, whether through gossip, social or mainstream media. It is better for our other children to hear the news from us first. The way that our children express their grief could depend on their personality, age and level of maturity, as well as the particular circumstances of their sibling’s death and their relationship beforehand. The dynamics in our family will have changed, and it is possible that new tensions and discords may develop. The relationships between remaining siblings may also alter. In almost every household, there are times of minor conflict and