Grieving for our Pre-teen or Teenage Child

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends disagreement. These could now give rise to complex feelings and even self-blame. This underlines the importance of our children getting support as they grieve. Talking openly about their sibling and remembering them through activities such as putting up photos or making a memory box can all be important for this process. If our remaining children are at school or college, we will need to inform the establishment of what has happened. We may want to talk with their teacher or another staff member about their return to education. It is quite likely that their schoolwork or behaviour will be affected by the death of their sibling, and they might need extra support. If we cannot face talking to the teacher, perhaps a friend or relative could help, or the situation explained in an email or a phone call. Whilst important and necessary, we need to approach these tasks in a way that is right for us. For information about how children may react to bereavement, depending on their age and developmental stage, see: www.cruse.org.uk/Children/children-understanding-death. Our child’s belongings and personal space At home, our child will have had their own personal space, such as their bedroom, and their belongings may also be scattered around other parts of the home. The task of sorting out our child’s possessions and clothes may fill us with dread; we may not even be able to enter our child’s room for fear of being overwhelmed by grief. It is important for us to realise that there is no hurry. It is entirely our choice when or even if we will take care of these matters. If there is nobody at home who might use these items, we will be