Grieving for our Pre-teen or Teenage Child

UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | www.tcf.org.uk left with questions as to what we should do with them. Some of us will choose to keep a few memorable items – perhaps things that were treasured by our child, such as a favourite jacket, a musical instrument or their smartphone. If we have other children, they may wish to keep some special items, too. We may eventually decide to dispose of some things, perhaps giving them to friends or to charity. If we do not rush the process, we may find the “right” place for many of these items. Some parents donate items to their child’s school or friends. Others have their clothes made into patchwork quilts or cushions. On the other hand, some parents prefer to preserve their child’s room as it was when they were alive, at least to begin with. This is our choice and we should not feel pressured to make quick decisions. It is worth bearing in mind that the way we – and other members of the family – feel about these material reminders of our child may change as time passes. Our child’s digital footprints Our child’s Facebook page, Instagram account, Twitter feed, blog or website may contain a host of happy memories and precious insights into our child. At a more personal level, they will probably have sent many individual messages via accounts such as WhatsApp or email. We may feel that we want to preserve every word, photo and video our child has posted online. It may, however, be worth pausing before we step too deeply into their digital world to ask the types of question that we might consider before reading our child’s diary, such as, are we prepared to uncover things that might cause us additional grief? Perhaps we should also consider whether our