Grieving for our Pre-teen or Teenage Child

One of a series of leaflets published by The Compassionate Friends child would have wanted us to read their private communications. To help us make the right decision, it may be helpful to consult their closest friends; if our child has siblings, we may wish to consult them too. Another important factor to bear in mind is the privacy of those our child communicated with online. There may be situations when we wish to close our child’s social media account – perhaps due to unwanted visitors or hurtful comments. This is a personal decision, and one that should not be taken in haste. However, it may be best to act quickly to at least change the privacy settings of our child’s Facebook page to prevent outsiders from viewing photos or making posts on the page. (This is assuming that we have access to the account.) If we decide to delete an account, we may want to download the contents beforehand. Social media has its disadvantages, but it also holds the potential to bring something positive for us and for the wider circle of our child’s family and friends. For example, we may want to consider creating an online memorial of some kind. This could be a JustGiving page, where family and friends can help raise funds for a meaningful cause, or a Facebook page, where people can leave comments or share photos (although the creation of this might result in Facebook quickly ‘memorialising’ our child’s own page). More information and advice can be found in the TCF leaflet Our Child, Social Media and Their Digital Legacy : www.tcf.org.uk/content/r-digital-legacy Our child’s school or college There will be items belonging to our child at the school or college they attended, such as the work they were doing, books and clothing. We will probably want to arrange to collect any of these